But since then, I don't know what happened! I feel crippled by performance anxiety. I started taking voice lessons again, I even made a demo recording, but I never got up the nerve to submit it to the amateur open-mic events. No way. I joined a chorus. That's safe. Safety in numbers.
But even so, my daydreams often include a little band, me at the mic, a dark, intimate space with candles on the tables... But any time someone finds out I'm a singer and asks me to sing something or gives me a lead for gigs/other musicians, I sieze up. The whole package--the adrenaline courses through my body, my breathing shallows, my heart starts pounding, my hands get clammy, and I get that hollow feeling in my gut. It's ridiculous.
And I'm going to conquer it.
I met a musician. Who knows a musician. Who knows a musician. And together we have a voice, a guitar, a cajon drum, a double bass, and a taste for Latin American music. The owner of the little cafe where I take tango has already claimed us for our first "concert." All that's left is getting us together to practice and setting a date.
Give me victory or give me death.
