Dear Body,
I just want to point out that you had six months of rest, relaxation, and downtime amid volitile weather conditions. Freezes and thaws and freezes and thaws. You worked with children, you traveled abroad, and yet through all this you remained strong. Why did you decide that the night before I started my new job was the ideal time to get sick? To tighten up the chest, clog up the sinuses, flood my eyes, and pound around in my head? Was that really necessary?
I made a wonderful impression on all my new coworkers--coughing, sneezing, blowing my nose-- "I'm Caitlyn! I'm so excited to be working here!" I'm sure it will pave the way for my success.
I appreciate the fact that after the initial onslaught you agreed to compromise and let me feel a little better each day. But that episode this morning with the little tickle in the back of my throat that gave me the uncontrollable urge to cough for hours in the middle of the packed, silent traincar was really uncalled for. I tried to suppress it by breathing slowly and calmly, but it only made the tears start streaming down my cheeks and my entire core start convulsing. I think that might have been more alarming to my fellow passengers than the incessant coughing.
Anytime you could start acting like a normal body instead of one that's out to get me, I would appreciate it.
Love,
Caitlyn
PS-Please stop craving potato chips all the time. Try to crave something like celery sticks.
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